GRATITUDE: This time of year and all year

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Gratitude as: the state of being grateful; thankfulness. It is this time of year that tends to inspire even more gratitude for so much as the year comes to a close. For others who do not end the year around the same time as some of us do, I imagine that even in those particular cultures that gratitude is still a theme. The heartstrings tend to be strum more as candles are lit, lights are woven for the tree, and there tends to be an increase in spiritual services that are attended.

There are so many things to be grateful for but do we slow down enough to say “I’m grateful” or a simple “Thank you?” What seems to be true, at least from my experience, is that pausing and saying thank you for something small is just as profound as some big experience. There is an understanding that the more of this “thanking” that we do the more something seems to become, somehow. In a way, this can go the other way, where complaining about something which in a sense is a lack of gratitude for what is, is going to potentially support more of this feeling that surrounds complaining which is a type of inner and even outer friction of discomfort. So, why not have a moment of a complaint, since we are human after all and are meant to experience the whole range of human emotions, and simply return back to gratitude somehow and some way even for the particular circumstance that isn’t as favorable.

It is possible to have the emotion(s) as they are simply energy moving through our consciousness (physical and mental) and let it be more fluid through a type of expression without the harboring of it. Gratitude will continue to show up. There are simple moments throughout our day that grace makes its way and it can be overlooked if we are resisting what is happening by somehow telling a story about what the moment should look like versus see and accept it for what it is. We can also remember at this point that everything is transient and even when something seems to last forever, the reality is that it doesn’t because nothing actually lasts forever. Gratitude can work for both sides of what is favorable and what is unfavorable. Gratitude keeps things going and allows for more grace to do its “thing.” Gratitude creates a sense of lightness in our bodies. That sense of friction when we are complaining about what is and how it should be something that it isn’t creates a sense of tension in our bodies all the way to our cells. This friction is going to promote discomfort of sorts and is a type of stress that can affect us on many levels and compromise our health., weakening our immune system by causing discomfort in the heart that can alter the tissue. Think about it and feel into it. How does it make you feel when you say thank you? when someone says thank you? I don’t mean the common generic thank you autoreply but the actual full-hearted and honest and sincere thank you that is both given and received. Something so simple can be so profound. Something so simple can go miles and cross oceans. Something so simple can quickly just change the moment in ways you can’t imagine. Your day can change in an instance. You can change someone’s day in an instant. I remember this recent interaction with someone by phone where they were calling about a service and said: “hello, how are you?” My reply was, “I’m doing well, how are you?”. His reply started with a pause and then he said “wow! thank you. No one ever asks how I’m doing.'“ This made me feel sad because so often are we that disconnected, and I felt happy because I could tell that he had a sense of well-being in that moment all because I asked how he was. I felt grateful to have received this and knowing that he received my kindness.

This may not always be a kindness readily available because we are human and have moments of not being the ideal, but that’s ok. Somehow the moment will show us, if not in that moment, but a following moment as a reminder of how to be kinder to one another. I’ve had moments where I may have been unkind and in some of those moments I’m reminded of being human, or, “a few moments later” it somehow rings for me that I may have been unkind and think “what a jerk I was in that moment.” This doesn’t produce the best feeling but I make efforts to keep on improving. I’m grateful for such reminders and enjoy feeling lighter in my body and mind when I do.

Slowing down is the key and grace is usually doing her job consistently and persistently even when we may not notice in any given moment.

Here are some simple ways to invite in more gratitude:

1- Say thank you for any small or big gesture, towards yourself and others.

2- Start the day not by jumping on the phone as your eyes open but setting an intention and/or even prayer expressing gratitude for what you have right here and right now.

3- Pause. Can you slow down to see what you do have? Can you name what you do have?

4- Pause. Can you express to others what you appreciate about them?

5- Pause. Can you connect with others by phone, not simply as just a voice doing a job but a person who is living their life as you are and doing their best?

6- End your day either inwardly thinking it or outwardly saying “thank you for this day.” You can say it to yourself or you can say it to someone who is there with you or you can say it to some form of the divine that you honor. You can also name a few things you are thankful for.

7- Pause. Notice how it makes you feel when you are grateful and ungrateful.

8- Experiment with this. Have conversations with strangers from a kind and light and funny place. The stranger can be a check-out person, or a phone person of sorts, or a neighbor. Play around with it. Challenge yourself.

9- Pause. Notice more of what you have versus complaining about what you are thinking or feeling you are actually lacking. Is it true? Is it real?

10- Invite others that you consider close to you and open to the idea of performing such practices. Like a weak muscle requires slow-building and practicing, so does this.

11- Start from somewhere and with anything. It gets easier.

This year has been amazing for me, including all the ups and downs and everything in between. I’m grateful for all of it and all of you. I’m grateful to myself for showing up to each moment the best that I could, that I can, that I will. I’m grateful for this moment., this day, every day (easy and challenging.) I’m grateful for all that I receive, that I give, and to being of service to myself and others. I’m grateful for the abundance and all of its forms. I’m grateful for all the connections, interactions, and opportunities I am part of.

DISCLAIMER: This information is meant for educational purposes only. Any changes in lifestyle should be reviewed with a qualified practitioner and primary care physician if you are currently under their care for specific conditions.