As a child, I was molested, for several years. My will had been abolished and served someone who manipulated and controlled me at his will.
As a child, I was beaten with excessive force, as a means to not only control me but also to be an outlet for others anxiety and aggression.
As a child, I was this sensitive, intuitive and deeply loving little bright being who bought into the untruths that had buried me beneath fears that weren't my own.
As a child, I was emotionally and mentally abused, due to fear and as a means to control. My esteem was completely shredded and any sense of self-worth was dictated according to what served others needs and mine generally neglected. Though, I had clothes on my back, food in my tummy, hot water to bathe with and a roof to shelter me.
Go figure, I had the basics to survive but I didn't have the necessity of feeling love, feeling seen and an unconditional embraced.
I lost my voice. I lost my self. This went on for years and then it changed. It didn't happen instantly but something welled deep within me, to a point where I could no longer ignore it anymore, and reminded me it was there all along.
I remembered that I mattered. I remembered that little starlight being that was serving others in an unloving way was meant to be here and to be of service to the world. I had to learn what was unloving in the world so that I can know love more deeply. I rose up and continue to rise up through the ashes to be reborn as the Phoenix.
I use to play victim and complain of life's unfairness but then I reclaimed my power and remembered that life happens through me.
I went from victim to victor and each day is another opportunity to heal my past through the gifts that show up today and that pave my future as I embrace all of myself right now, in this moment. I remember more and more each day that who I truly am is more amazing than what has happened to me.