Behind the zipper of a man we find his self-proclaimed manhood.  A fair amount of men identify with this aspect of themselves through this organ.  Yet, what makes a man cannot be simply reduced to such a small part of him, regardless of size.  I feel that this understanding is relevant to modern times.  Let's explore this further through history. 

 Man and woman are not that old in relationship to the age of this planet.  When the first man was born he was governed by a primal nature which solely resided in survival of the fittest through maintaining an intelligence that thoroughly comprehended the surrounding environment where he cultivated his capacity of resourcefulness.  He had to outsmart predators and competitors.  To ensure his genetic lineage he would mate.  The woman (and this varied with tribal dynamics around the world) would support this process and provide the nest for him. As humans first discovered the ability to harness fire this was the first step of awakening.  Anthropologically and biologically, this may in fact be around the same time the evolution of the cortex along with  the inherent wisdom of the body formed the neo-cortex and higher brain functions. As each generation of humans evolved so did brain and to various degrees. And, regardless, the designed base level functioning of humans has never sacrificed the primal necessity for love, security and sexual expression.  Interestingly, we can understand this development according to the ancient system and  philosophy of the chakra system; the seven major energy centers of the body that not only are representative of the five main elements but also the psychological vantage point that explains evolution of spirituality from the ground up. For instance, the first chakra, at the base of the spine, is about stability, security and base need for survival.  The second is within the pelvis and within the region of the reproductive organs, where our power, creativity and sexual expressiveness reside. From here, with each having a purpose, we progress to the naval area, then heart, then heart, next the throat, arriving up to the center of the eye brow area and then the ultimate high, which is the crown chakra where we connect to the highest realm of spirituality, awakening and absolute consciousness.  The details of the chakras are beyond the scope of this article and can be researched separately.  The point of all this is to see the progression of lower consciousness to higher planes of consciousness as we evolve in these bodies.

 As we explore this and have it exist in the background of our mind, we can formulate our relationship to time, space and nature.  Within the realm of higher conscious we can determine that there are two main energies at play in the universe.  These being the masculine and the feminine. Masculine energy is symbolically represented by a spear-head and the feminine energy is represented by the receptive cup. Biologically, the predominance of testosterone is common in men and estrogen in women. The quality of hot is more masculine and cool is associated with the feminine.  Various cultures around the world have their own wisdom that defines the qualities of masculine and feminine.  In pre-historic times, it was more cut and dry to understand the roles of the masculine and the feminine. As consciousness evolved and continues to evolve, we understand more easily how in actuality the male energies and feminine energies exist in each other, like the yin-yang symbol where we clearly see how the colors of black and white are in each other perceived by the inner circles.  

 Currently, the understanding of how masculine and feminine can be defined isn't as determining as it once was of time past. Though anatomically the physical genders can still be ascertained to some degree, inclusive of the transgender genre as part of society (please forgive my ignorance if it seems as though I didn't accurately or respectively understand the best words to describe this amazing group of light beings), the clarity of these roles of masculine and feminine fall within the gray zone.  Times have changed. Men are becoming more in touch with their feminine side, gay or not, and women are more in touch with their masculine side.  In some homes, men are stay at home dads while mom works and in other homes, women still stay home while men work. Other homes in between, we have single moms and single dads.  Modern times even show us a home with either two moms, or two dads.  Within the latter scenarios, we can see that in such interrelationships that one person more than the other tends to express themselves with a predominant role and in some cases there is an equal sharing of roles and responsibilities that isn't restricted to conventional definitions of masculine and feminine.

 We have evolved greatly over the thousands and thousands of years that we have existed on this planet. The old definition of what is a man and what is a woman no longer serves the current times accurately. Now it’s more about what is it about being human?

 Since this article is about men here is where I'll focus the attention, though there is much overlapping disparity to maintain a separation from the two qualities and energies, in my perspective. Men come in all shapes and sizes. They participate in vocational settings that are no longer gender specific. They engage in sexual roles that are no longer typically defined. Self-care is increasing and the mentality of men is evolving, catching up to our female counterparts. The list is growing and men are changing, slowly. Yet what exists behind the zipper of a man is no longer restricted to the importance of his physical penis.  The mental version shows itself through competition and we can say that this competitiveness comes from the primal urges that still exist deeply within our being since the beginning.  We can see this inherently rooted importance to establish our manliness through how we tend to participate in society. Whether gay or straight, there is a common them for survival to some degree. Both versions of men seek to establish themselves with some level of importance, and who knows? Maybe this is some simple function of having more testosterone because chemicals have intelligence. Anyways, both versions are competitive and we can see a distinct split between gay and straight men. Here's how.  Straight men generally come across with a stern, retracted and confining demeanor. This may be a way that, as in pre-historic times, he had to ruffle his feathers to gain superiority over others. They did this to preserve themselves and survive and at least prolong their survival through progeny. Gay men, though they may be operating from a similar place, have less of a possibility or maybe even less interest in enduring time through progeny. In simpler words, both straight and gay men are still men. Both, on some level may have a drive to prolong their genealogy for survival via a competitive edge that supports survival of the fittest but and unless gay men adopt or find a surrogate mother, straight men may be more inclined to pursue this avenue.  Gay men may in fact redirect this to other ways of self-preservation or not be that interested. I'm hoping this message is clear at this point. 

 Now, I'd like to also shed light on men that aren't as forthright or as driven and seem complacent or gentler.  This does not make them any less than a man. It's actually that simple and for there be a need to justify this would simply encourage that competitive mentality which is rooted in duality, fear and essentially an unrealistic definition. I say this from a spiritual standpoint and that in the eyes of the Divine we are all equal, straight, gay, lesbian, men, women, all colors, all shapes, all religions and all creeds. There is no separation.  One is not lesser or more than. We are all created in God's image which is infinite in form. Again, it's that simple.  Love and God are one and since God is love and doesn't discriminate, neither does love.

 The point of all this is to move from a place of fear and back to a place of love that lives in all our hearts.  Behind the zipper of a man is more than his penis, our penis.  As we evolve within our consciousness, higher consciousness, we rise within love in our hearts. For women, they are not as pre-occupied by their vagina because the quickest way to a woman's heart is through her heart.  We tend to error on the side of thinking that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his penis (and/or his stomach) but at the deepest level, when a man has the awareness, the quickest way to his heart is his heart too.  The mind has created a story and men can have dense barriers that must be transformed and dissolved so that we can access his heart completely. His mind has taken over as a powerful tool for self-preservation and maintenance of the survival of the fittest philosophy, in modern times, to stay above the ever changing times. In my opinion, for a man to truly secure his lineage it is by being in the heart with love more and less in the mind where fear resides. We can see this in some examples such as major world male figures that have operated from their heart such as Jesus, Moses, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Their legacy lives on because of love. Freedom and health comes from a heart that is open and loving, less from a critical mind.  We must continue to explore the dense shadows of the past that keeps us trapped and bound to the point of where we feel claustrophobic and asphyxiated. Step by step, we must be willing to surrender the layers of fears seeds and rise above like the phoenix. For a man to truly be successful, we must be intimate with our vulnerability and show up in the world as such. The Divine knows that we can because the very fabric of who we are was created as such.  Now it's a matter for us to tune in and know that we can too. There is no need for competition since we are all eligible and deserving of life's riches and richness. The universe is abundant in all ways and we are each equally entitled and deserving of all that is has to offer; we all have a lot to offer. We must recognize that competition is a mask of fear and if we explore this fear we can see how unrealistic and untrue it is.

 So, what is a man? A man is integrated with all his pieces as being part of the one story of him. A man in integrity is a man who takes responsibility for himself and shows up in the world as his own version of the divine and in the world. Then, this man can also see that a woman is essentially and fundamentally no different than him; that male qualities and female qualities exist in each one of us, making us whole and reminding us that we are all love. (we just forgot)

 Behind the zipper of a man is much more that what is superficially understood. There is an entire universe that awaits us if we take the time to really sink deeper and let the heart be our guide.


Behind the zipper of a man is more than we can conceivably bargain for. Lurking in the shadows of a man hides his past, present and future. This deep mystery is masked by this masculine strong facade. There is much more than testosterone that defines a man; an unspoken truth that isn’t always revealed to the host himself.  This process requires subtle inquiry and a surrender of what societal influences have defined for us over the centuries.

 In recent times, my meditation process has been about exploring the story of a man by diving deep and inquiring from my essence what this means amidst the folly of the universe and consciousness.  During these exploratory sessions and viewing the revelations through my own journey of awakening, I have been shown how deep the mystery of a man is. (At this point as I'm still meditating and exploring.) I see how we have been governed by not only current societal domestications but through influences spanning ancestral lineages, going back millennia.  Years and years, generations upon generations, centuries upon centuries, the compiling of pressure that latently is embedded in the crevices of our being, genetically encoded with so much fear, so much wounding.

 Day to day, I interact with men from this place of perspective and insight, ranging from simple eye contact/eye avoidance to a man lying on my massage table and I explore his tissues that secretly reveal anger, repression, suppression, old tears of past sorrows and future fears. From intimate moments, while satisfying earthly pleasures, to social gatherings of sorts where men pool together to express their "manliness," I ask my essence and their inner master to speak to me and show me its secrets.

 Behind our eyes, we have seen and personally experienced grave injustices committed. We have held our tears and concealed our truth as victims to oppressive forces that are inherently caused by an imbalanced patriarchal system that lacks the softness of the feminine energy. We were taught to toughen up, be strong, not express emotion, "act like a man", work hard/play harder, fight, attack, destroy, conquer, be stern and immovable. We carry our own pain to the point of disease formation and sometimes we say "mercy," most often we take it to our graves. This weight upon our shoulders remains generally untapped.  There are glimpses over time when we are able to perceive these rays of hope and healing but often are the case that the defense systems engage and shield us once again. Though we may think that we are hiding from the world, our intense secrets, we are really hiding from ourselves through denial. Our being, our essence and our soul tattle on us through our eyes. Yet and sometimes simultaneously, we think we can avoid eye contact because we know this on some level; without realizing that even the act of avoiding eye contact is an action that reveals so much just as quickly. 

 Behind this majestic presence of masculine that we show up with, we often hide behind such definitions that are actually superficial and shallow. In what we think we are concealing, others who have done the inner mining will simply see the child of the man. I love the old saying "the child is father to the man."  (This wraps it all up in seven words.)  When I confer with woman and other men who have done much inner work and healing, the common theme of how so many men walk around with their inner young boys playing dress up in suits of adult men is amazing! We can and tend to remain our own versions of unchartered territories that can draw to us grave consequences and situations least likely in our favor, to the point that this unconsciousness can circle around and we repeat patterns of harm to ourselves and the world around us. This is how we pass down generation to generation deeply seated wounds and into seeds of our unborn. 

 We generally roam freely, but as men are we truly free when we carry such burden and feel stifled to the point of numbness? We are limited in our words and we attempt to use words to describe emotions but in a round-about fashion or we use the "wrong" words to navigate but we end up more lost than the beginning of the journey.  This is how conflict is created and how many relationships fail, or don't even have a chance to set sail. This is the perfect springboard opportunity to take responsibility for ourselves and to make a change. 

 We roam around unattached, one way or another, and venture sexually meanwhile justifying our behavior that this is "what we do because we are men" or fall prey to the story that it's "dictated by evolution and biology". But, how true is this? To some extent, it is true but it isn't fully truthful because it would seem as though we are falling into unconsciousness again while we chalk over our behaviors to predetermined ideas. Yet, let's ask ourselves "where did this idea truly start from to begin with?" Yes, evolution is a process that's generally considered real but what was the impetus? Where did this process start from? A thought in cosmic consciousness maybe? 

 "Show me yours and I'll show you mine." As early as childhood, we play such games from an innocent place because we learn to explore the world through comparison. We get older and then this simple game still exists but is played under different categories, from the child mind to the adult version, and basically divide it into two categories with overlapping. Let's first look at the two categories, though be mindful that there's no absolute because there's always a gray area. First group is where as we mature we side with sexual expression. By this, I mean that as children we are just sensitive boys simply exploring the world and not fixed by rigid rules like man/woman. We may be fundamentally heterosexual but have a small (in most cases) undeniable curiosity for same sex connection and even intimacy; but are generally herded into this group to fit the current standards.  This group will tend to repress (knowingly/unknowingly) some of the curiosity or on some level forego the idea and integrate it into sports, politics, gym activities and athleticism. How we still hold the idea of "show me yours and I'll show you mine" is through competition in seeing who the alpha male is.  This is like most species where male energy is present. It's the "normal behavior" per say, of even mating/courting and/or even just being pack leader. The other group becomes homosexual (gay men), and usually undergoes a much more tumultuous path (less so these days and at least less in bigger cities). I say tumultuous because there's usually a coming out process that happens, where for heterosexual men there isn't. Men in this second group can and do still participate in similar activities to the other group but with one more advantage, which is sexual liberation to some degree. In the gay male world where we say "show me yours and I'll show you mine", we mean it literally. Gay men spend a lot of time focusing on the penis, more easily and more openly.  Not necessarily all gay men, but a good proportion. The dialogue is usually about "how big are you?" but it is also around how much of a "man" you are in other ways, which is not that different from the heterosexual realm. As men, regardless of grouping, we have two heads but one mind and in between is the referee known as the heart. Biologically, physically, the body has its own needs and intelligence.  The mind has its own story and can dictate like a king, over the kingdom, which is the body and direct it into peace or traffic. 

 When the heart is involved there is balance of body and mind. When there is chaos of body and mind, the heart suffers. We must clear up this traffic jam and miscommunication and allow the heart to speak and be listened to.  By doing so, we can avoid health complications of mind and body.  This is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. In giving this to ourselves, we inevitably radiate this outwardly to all those around us which can ripple across the planet and influence the generations to come. By doing our work and really becoming intimate with our own wounds we can heal ourselves from the inside out.  We can fully show up in a true sense of balance in both our masculine and feminine, and we can be fully grounded in the world because we are living life, in light, light in our bodies (verses dense and compressed), along with being integrated and in harmony with the Earth and stars. We cannot be fully integrated unless we can look at, embrace and hold space for ourselves and hold all the pieces of ourselves under the awareness and acceptance of pure loving acceptance itself. We can have improved health and relationships which are interdependent. We can heal our own past and have a bright future. We can transform the violence into peace by inviting our own personal healing journey to take over. Our deepest self is yearning and sometimes screaming to get out.  It's time for us to listen to this inner voice that beckons from our hearts and where our inner little boys still live feeling abandoned because our minds have spearheaded our reality. 

 There’s work to be done. We are each responsible for ourselves. Are you ready to start? Are you ready to show up? Are you ready to do this work along my side? We don’t have to do this alone.  Actually, it’s best if we didn’t. We do have to go in by ourselves but we will soon discover that we aren’t alone. Are you ready? Because I am and I invite you.